My parents brought me and my brother up in a very liberal environment. There was constant encouragement to look at the world with tolerance and to live life conscientiously and with great humility. I was never told that I could not do something because I was a girl. On the contrary, I was encouraged to do sports, ride the bike, be out of the house with friends until a reasonable (safe) hour, and wear the clothes I wished to wear. Because we were given the liberty to be ourselves and to grow as individuals, my brother & I learnt to respect our parent’s upbringing style and hardly ever took (dis)advantage of the fact that we had lot more independence than our peers.

We had constant intellectual stimulation at home, especially during dinner time-- when the entire family (3 generations) sat down to eat. Dinner was sparked with discussions on politics, current affairs, history, literature etc. mostly led by my grandfather. We would sometimes argue, agree with each other’s view, and sometimes agree to disagree…These were the times when my grandparents and parents were bringing us up and creating us into strong individuals who could think for themselves, see right from wrong, be compassionate towards others, be progressive in thinking, and live life with a reason and purpose.

However, sometimes I feel my family was ahead of its time. They did not realize that one day “our daughter” might be married into an inward looking traditional family and would have a hard time adjusting into that world, or for that matter may never adjust at all! What is tradition? Something that has been going on for several years & should go on for several more??? Do you really start belonging to some other family because you marry?

My husband is a wonderful man and we have the same views on all the big ticket items in life and want the same things from life, which is important. It always makes me wonder how come he is so different from the rest of his family…I have heard the saying many times that the fruit does not fall too far from the tree, but this fruit has drifted across the Atlantic into a very different world from the rest of the tree. But how does one deal with all the expectations that come from the old traditional tree??? Do you really go back against your beliefs, do you start leading a life that you don’t believe in?

Why are traditions always so demanding, restraining, and claustrophobic? Why do traditions have to be forced upon individuals? Why can’t we be more tolerant that some people choose to lead their life differently? I have nothing against people who are more conservative than I am, but it disturbs me to see that these are the people who want others to be like them. WHY? This happens at a micro-level in households, as well as in the outside world? We need tolerance at an individual level to achieve tolerance in the larger sense…Live & let live…We live our life once, so live it with pride, happiness, laughter, respect, self-worth and humility.